Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
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