I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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