Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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