If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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