In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am spending my child support on dildos
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
