Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
