I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize