did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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