careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just found puke in my bra..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
