Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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