I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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