I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
