I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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