I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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