And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
