how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize