He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
