3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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