I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I pour the whiskey from now on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
