Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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