I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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