life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
