4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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