After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
