Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
