They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
