sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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