K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
