He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
