You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
