Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's never too late to be topless.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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