Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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