i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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