laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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