My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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