with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize