do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
