the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
