That's when you crack a 10am beer
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize