You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
