The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize