Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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