we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
