His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
