I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
