You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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