Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
