hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
