Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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