1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
