I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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