I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
