Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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