That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
