Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
