were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
